Let the ink sink

Just putting my pen to the paper.
Let the ink sink in.
No particular destination in mind, just gonna let the pen spill its ink.
No ideas, can't even think.
Just gonna let the words flow, a stream of syllables slowly seeping from my sedated psyche.
As I spark this bowl, I watch my mind take a stroll through the memories and fantasies floating throughout my anxious mind.
Seldom have I been so lost, seldom have I been so aware.
Dropping this disguise I wear.
Striving just to not care, letting go of these insecurities I've held onto for so long.
Always felt I don't belong,
out of sight, on the outskirts of reality.
Lost in my own strange world, a fantasy world of sorts.
I let the music caress my cold confused soul.
Alone but not quite lonely not many others in my world, seems like I'm the only one here.
The unsocializer
The dreamer
The quiet one
Deep down really a screamer
A redeemer of love.
Gazing at the sun, within the light I drown.
Attempting to evade the ever present feeling of self rejection, can't stay blind to my own deceptions.
Further enhancement of perceptions is required
Not sure I can last much longer
This cannabis sedation is getting stronger
An ultra haze.
Got me feeling all sorts of ways.
Staying stoned for days can definitely put you in a daze, maybe it's just a phase maybe life's just a dream.
Maybe things aren't as they seem
Where am I going with this?
Who knows
Its about time I shut down the streaming of syllables.
Random thoughts I just needed to release
Maybe the mind chatter will cease for now.
As I drift into meditation a journey of attaining cosmic elation.
This poet with a pen is signing off for the night
Rest easy earth, drift into mirth, embrace your rebirth.