what my friend can do!

My little friend you ease my pain.
Mom hides you while im away,
But i always find you.
you like to be found by me,
You draw red lines all over my skin.
I smile as i  watch what damage you cause.
you slice my skin with ease.
i go deeper with each cut,
I can feel you quiver and shake in my hand,
Almost as if your telling me im going to deep.
But i dont care if i stain my moms perfectly white sink.
I dont care if my crimson blood leaves a mark floor.
she would be more mad about the floor than the cutting.
Well that would be if i didnt die.
if i died would she feel guilty?
Then what would she do?