Deserving We Are Not

I could remember from a cry from the void

But it was just me being paranoid

I thought I heard it's siren call

Deep in the middle of the fall

To swim deep in the color of blood

All the while slipping in the mud

Crawling towards some unknown goal

Not knowing if it's still in my control

Dead water produces still waves

In the corner I sit and rave

Mind finally went and finally snapped

Here in my corner tightly wrapped

The luster of sanity slipping in the leaves

Madness finally came out unsheathed

No person is deserving of a clear mind

I hear the call more and more I find

It tells me so of the lives it has wrecked

It laughs telling me about the spiders on my neck

But none of my friends or family can see

This illness from which I can never be free

A playground for demons in my head

Unburying memories long dead

Torment from what must be eons past

Though it seems it forever it lasts

That's the funny thing about pain

Right when you have something to gain

The grave robbers dig up your problem's bones

 Things for which you truly never atoned

Deserving of the peace we are not

For each victory  humanity has fought

There's always more to it seems

In the dark of fall the swirling mass wickedly beams