The Feeling Of Wanting To Cry

Six months
The time it has been since I last cut
Depression taking over once more
Affecting me so deep once again

So this is what it feels like
To hit lower than rock bottom
Unable to see the light
In this dark reality I live in

The feeling of being alone
is being felt constant
Anywhere I go, never anyone around
no matter how many people are around

Doomed to feel like this for the rest of my life
Not a soul in the world to care about mine
A feeling like this makes me wonder
Is it really worth going through all this for the rest of my life?

A life so bad, Family constantly yelling at me for coughing
Yelling at me because they think I haven't taken my medication
When in fact... I have taken it already...
Maybe I should just take them all at once, that'll show 'em

Family constantly yelling at me for having my music up too loud
Like seriously wtf? they have theirs louder than mine
Too bad for me if I want mine a little louder than zero
Time for me to keep to my ipod for the rest of my life

Eight fresh cuts, been 6 months since he last time i drew blood
Not as deep as I have gone before
Maybe just too afraid to end it all now
Though I don't know why I bother staying alive

Eight fresh cuts, soon to be Eight fresh scars
Who knows... could end up with more... that would be a real bonus
So... for now I hide my cuts... how you wonder with Summer around the corner
They are not on my forearm, as with most cuts... but on my upper arm...
Where they can remain hidden for a long time... long enough until I don't care

All the bullshit thats going on...
All the negative impacts in my life...
Just want to make me cry, though I hold it all in...
I don't know how long it will last... to keep it all in...