Cameron

I remind you of girls who scream good-for-nothings
because I silence myself and look away
every time you don't make sense;
.                                                  to me.

You say you'll listen but
I don't speak,
for my language contradicts your
beliefs on what is right.
.             I know this much.

I speak a foreign language;
.                              I am an alien
.                                                   to you.

You are confused by my midnight solaces,
you wish me to live daylights and die with the skies,
trying to drain out the ways I look up to
blackened heavens and cigarette smoke
surging out of mouths that
speak my thoughts; that
do not judge me by my oddities;

they are aliens, too;
.                              yours.

You say I am blind for
blind people plunge themselves in rainbows -

but I,
see the bitter grayness of it all, too, like
holed pockets, like tears, like the crisp edge of the world

- I only like rainbows because they numb me.

I could run for hours back into
arms that protect
and you'd still not know the reasons why
for they don't make sense;
.                                                   to you.

Because you believe I am running wrong directions.

I am no longer life's virgin for life broke me
the day I laughed more than I ever had in my
sixteen years; beneath the
blackened heavens and cigarette clouds
with mouths that say "Stay alive.";
.                                        aliens to you.

But reality to me.