deepundergroundpoetry.com
Protected Paradise
Sadness bleeds through these words
crumbling down onto me
I'm a mountain holding on
rock solid
as the world throws down
an avalanche of anger
I'm no stranger to the sun
burning hot these trying eyes
breathe, I hear the whispers
for life is too short
to reign or rain
on someone else
and their protected paradise
crumbling down onto me
I'm a mountain holding on
rock solid
as the world throws down
an avalanche of anger
I'm no stranger to the sun
burning hot these trying eyes
breathe, I hear the whispers
for life is too short
to reign or rain
on someone else
and their protected paradise
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Re. Protected Paradise
Anonymous
18th Sep 2018 2:35pm
Its all about the energy, isn't it? Sometimes it's murky. Sending hugs, my friend
1
Re: Re. Protected Paradise
18th Sep 2018 3:18pm
Anonymous
- Edited 30th May 2019 3:51pm
18th Sep 2018 4:15pm
<< post removed >>
Re. Protected Paradise
"an avalanche of anger" ... great line ... love the structure of this ... six line stanza ... couplet ... five line stanza ... makes for great flow ...
1
Re. Protected Paradise
18th Sep 2018 7:07pm
A protected paradise is to be respected. This is evident, I believe, in the last stanza. But this is fine work from beginning to end. Favorite lines:
I'm no stranger to the sun
burning hot these trying eyes
Your vision is 20/20 here. Love your work, JusTim!
I'm no stranger to the sun
burning hot these trying eyes
Your vision is 20/20 here. Love your work, JusTim!
1
Re: Re. Protected Paradise
18th Sep 2018 7:40pm
Re. Protected Paradise
18th Sep 2018 8:00pm
Re: Re. Protected Paradise
18th Sep 2018 8:01pm
Re. Protected Paradise
19th Sep 2018 6:11pm
“for life is too short
to reign or rain
on someone else
and their protected paradise”
Indeed my friend. Having felt anxiety myself, sometimes we just need to breathe it in and let it go.
“I'm a mountain holding on
rock solid”
You’re an inspiration Tim.
to reign or rain
on someone else
and their protected paradise”
Indeed my friend. Having felt anxiety myself, sometimes we just need to breathe it in and let it go.
“I'm a mountain holding on
rock solid”
You’re an inspiration Tim.
1
Re: Re. Protected Paradise
19th Sep 2018 6:26pm
Re. Protected Paradise
Anonymous
19th Sep 2018 7:06pm
Tim,
I finally got to read some of your poems, excellent job my man!
Love that last stanza! People should take heed!
Great job!
MZ.
I finally got to read some of your poems, excellent job my man!
Love that last stanza! People should take heed!
Great job!
MZ.
1
Re. Protected Paradise
29th Sep 2018 3:15am
Re: Re. Protected Paradise
29th Sep 2018 3:20am
Thank you Nari...I don't know if it has gotten worse lately or I've just noticed it more.