deepundergroundpoetry.com
Modest Little Words
If "Good" and "girl" are modest little words,
I'm pleased they're only murmured in my ear.
I'd hate to be embarrassed, once you're spurred
To thrust into my wetness; if a tear
Should dare to slide down my cheek at harsh use,
Sir smiles to see the moisture. "Is she slick?"
He asks and you affirm, prepared to loose
A cannonade of sperm; you know the trick
Is to enjoy a cunt as you want to.
So growl out loud and press deep into me;
I'm just the eavesdropper; the good to screw;
The pet - the cunt - the hole - and, soon, I'll be
A true "good girl", not praised, but you'll be clear
I've served Sir well (as murmured in my ear).
I'm pleased they're only murmured in my ear.
I'd hate to be embarrassed, once you're spurred
To thrust into my wetness; if a tear
Should dare to slide down my cheek at harsh use,
Sir smiles to see the moisture. "Is she slick?"
He asks and you affirm, prepared to loose
A cannonade of sperm; you know the trick
Is to enjoy a cunt as you want to.
So growl out loud and press deep into me;
I'm just the eavesdropper; the good to screw;
The pet - the cunt - the hole - and, soon, I'll be
A true "good girl", not praised, but you'll be clear
I've served Sir well (as murmured in my ear).
Published 18th Sep 2018
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likes 6
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comments 10
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
18th Sep 2018 11:55am
Very good. But I feel it's not you. You are truly more poeticly stylish. Don't write to please others, but take pleasure in what you write. Hugs. J
18th Sep 2018 6:01pm
Thoughtful and sweet....
Yet some of us are born pleasers. If so, I argue to let it be.
I think her styles are getting a chance to play with experimentation and deepen even further.
I liked it for what it was, erotic poetry.
Yet some of us are born pleasers. If so, I argue to let it be.
I think her styles are getting a chance to play with experimentation and deepen even further.
I liked it for what it was, erotic poetry.
18th Sep 2018 7:09pm
A draft that saw light too early - perhaps a rewrite is called for - I'll mull.
18th Sep 2018 7:11pm
Thank you for the affirmation - might need a little kick or two to be better poetry.
Anonymous
18th Sep 2018 7:26pm
You know I love your poetry. You are truly one of my favourite erotic writers and there is no doubt that I love your work. The poem that preceded this one was very delightful and I believe I said so. This one is a good direction as a sequel. The experiment is fantastic. I think that there is something missing. But I don't mean that as a negative feedback but as a stimulant to do what I know you do best: take the reader on a journey into great dimensions. Forgive me, my dearest SweetOblivion. I didn't mean to be either rude or judgemental. I have a lot to learn from you and your delightful style. I just voiced out my voice as a reader who enjoys the build up. With sincere admiration, J.
18th Sep 2018 8:42pm
Anonymous
18th Sep 2018 8:49pm
Thanks for understanding. It wasn't criticism direct to your poetry or poetic style, which I love. I was just expecting more.
18th Sep 2018 10:10pm
18th Sep 2018 7:27pm
I don't know, SweetOblivion. I enjoy this as it is. No harm in pleasing others as long as you adhere to your style, as I feel you've done here. You never fail to satisfy me, even with your modest little words.
I think it is a little better less personalised with fewer conversational exchanges
