(9) Twisted Way Of Living X-XVII, MMXV

Life’s a never ending smoke screen.
Not a religious fanatic but bless these toxins;
I doubt I would’ve made it through the years,
XIII years and counting, will the madness ever stop?
 
Take it any way you like.
When I drink, I never consider the consequences.
I don’t sugarcoat shit, I love snorting cocaine.
Every line I snort kills another memory.
 
Popping pills, I’m enlightened.
Life’s a phase & we’re temporary occupants.
Fuck it all up until you drop temperature in the E.R.
In death, forever we shall be at ease.
 
My heart’s made of double glass.
My blood’s toxic like the liquor I drink.
Alcohol overrides my guilt by the gallon.
My reality pushed me out of the norm.
 
Along with lack of progression.
Discarding pointless lectures that come my way.
Smoking Charlie Brown, Jack Daniels as a chaser.
The smoke in my brain will never clear up.
 
Rooftop chillin', smiles in place.
Turning high grade ounces into hotbox sessions.
Should I stay lit & do life or commit homicide suicide?
Could it be an adolescent phase or am I really dead inside?
 
Disintegrating within as I smoke my cigarillo.
Ready to depart to a cancerous state.
Don’t ask me shit, this is bliss.
Loved who?
 
Snorting fish scale cocaine late at night on the avenue.
This is a twisted way of living;
Advice from a dope fiend, don’t underestimate us.
Your decisions could leave you drowning in a pool.
 
I’m ready to be released from these mental bars.
Forcefully given life, yet I still got cards to play.
Life’s a risk, so blame yourself if it goes downhill.
 This is my twisted way to live.
 
Life is what you make of it.
How you tell your story is your call.
Every chapter eventually ends but life goes on.
I don’t understand any of this.
 
In life, I’m not where I want to be.
I know my way around these streets;
Truth is, I’m lost in this world.
Stuck in my head, I feel close to death.
 
Suicidal thoughts rising.
Running through every single cemetery.
Driving through the flames of hell.
Aliening my veins against my switchblade.
 
Eyes closed, fast pull.
Blood’s gushing, I’m getting closer.
This is my hidden pleasure.
My flesh is poking out of my skin.
 
Eyes rolled back, heart pacing.
Racking up another line before I go.
Chest tight, arm’s feeling numb.
High and free, this is my twisted way of living.