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Insomnia
As I sit on this cold wooden stool
Way past my curfew
I wonder
What am I still doing here?
How come months ago, I didn’t leave you?
Love is complicated
Don’t tell me that it isn’t
I swear what I feel is love
But then again, Is it?
I’ve been alive longer that you have
But you seem to know a lot more than I do
It’s just a 3 month difference
But shouldn’t I be the one guiding you?
I’m such a lost puppy
And I hate to admit it
But I guess it’s better to tell the truth
Instead of lying and having to keep up with it
If what I feel is love
Then tell me why I’m so confused
6 months in
And all we do is argue
We’ve had a lot of great moments
Conversations
Crazy schemes
But maybe our relationship
Isn’t as perfect as we want it be
I know that with commitment, arguing comes in the package
But do I really have to start one every day?
When we can’t even seem to manage?
I promise I don’t mean to make you mad
And I’m pretty sure you don’t mean to make me sad
But we don’t deserve this pain and anger
Emotions run deeper than physical labor
You’ve helped me through so much
And because of you
In five months-
I haven’t cut
The 31st of May
Was my last day
And I'm hoping that it will stay my last
But if something slips
I’m afraid my restraints
Won’t be strong enough
To fight against the glass
Against the urge to slice
Make everything better
Make all pain external
And wash away, like the weather
Most of the words you said
I blamed for the reason I had to cut
Your words hurt more than the blades
The glass, the sharp rocks piercing underneath my foot
I always said
That if this is what I had to go through to be in love
That I wanted nothing to do with it
Pain was already enough
I didn’t need anyone but myself
Everything would be okay if I was alone
But then of course you had to come
And make your presence known
Make me fall in love
And obsess over you non stop
Now I’m becoming too much for you to handle
And you most likely want me to stop
I’ll try my best to stop arguing and fighting and disagreeing with everything you say
Because having you roll your eyes at me and avoid eye contact really pisses on my day
I’ll be a better girlfriend
I just have to learn how to first
It may take a while
But I promise, I’ll learn this verse
My legs are freezing now
As this poem, I do type
And I realize that this whole thing
Is confusing me to death
And I need to say goodnight
But not before I say that I don’t care how much we argue
Even though I know you’re sick and tired of it
And you may think about calling us through
Just please gather up the strength
To love me again
After I’ve done wrong
Because I'd do the same for you
And I don’t want US to be gone
Way past my curfew
I wonder
What am I still doing here?
How come months ago, I didn’t leave you?
Love is complicated
Don’t tell me that it isn’t
I swear what I feel is love
But then again, Is it?
I’ve been alive longer that you have
But you seem to know a lot more than I do
It’s just a 3 month difference
But shouldn’t I be the one guiding you?
I’m such a lost puppy
And I hate to admit it
But I guess it’s better to tell the truth
Instead of lying and having to keep up with it
If what I feel is love
Then tell me why I’m so confused
6 months in
And all we do is argue
We’ve had a lot of great moments
Conversations
Crazy schemes
But maybe our relationship
Isn’t as perfect as we want it be
I know that with commitment, arguing comes in the package
But do I really have to start one every day?
When we can’t even seem to manage?
I promise I don’t mean to make you mad
And I’m pretty sure you don’t mean to make me sad
But we don’t deserve this pain and anger
Emotions run deeper than physical labor
You’ve helped me through so much
And because of you
In five months-
I haven’t cut
The 31st of May
Was my last day
And I'm hoping that it will stay my last
But if something slips
I’m afraid my restraints
Won’t be strong enough
To fight against the glass
Against the urge to slice
Make everything better
Make all pain external
And wash away, like the weather
Most of the words you said
I blamed for the reason I had to cut
Your words hurt more than the blades
The glass, the sharp rocks piercing underneath my foot
I always said
That if this is what I had to go through to be in love
That I wanted nothing to do with it
Pain was already enough
I didn’t need anyone but myself
Everything would be okay if I was alone
But then of course you had to come
And make your presence known
Make me fall in love
And obsess over you non stop
Now I’m becoming too much for you to handle
And you most likely want me to stop
I’ll try my best to stop arguing and fighting and disagreeing with everything you say
Because having you roll your eyes at me and avoid eye contact really pisses on my day
I’ll be a better girlfriend
I just have to learn how to first
It may take a while
But I promise, I’ll learn this verse
My legs are freezing now
As this poem, I do type
And I realize that this whole thing
Is confusing me to death
And I need to say goodnight
But not before I say that I don’t care how much we argue
Even though I know you’re sick and tired of it
And you may think about calling us through
Just please gather up the strength
To love me again
After I’ve done wrong
Because I'd do the same for you
And I don’t want US to be gone
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