It's what you Call it

I keep running off on them and coming right back to the real me  
 i keep saying it's because nobody can feel me..... but truth is  
I don't feel me  
 and I doesn't know how the real me feels  
 
 am I playing too much or saying too much? I've been smacked for both but only by my mama, that's the wrong type of drama, and I'm close friends with karma, but can't get a conversation with the de li fuckin llama,  
 
 fuck broken promises  
 
 intuition so far gone he think I'm going through his phone, but really I'm just prone to falling for what's wrong, so the game is familiar, i kept quiet  you wanted to talk and now my truth kills you,  
 i let you live with me and the kids going in and out of my fridge but you didn't stop no show, cause my ends had BEEN met a long time Ago, better act like you KNOW,  
 i treat a gatt like my nigga and a pack like a side hoe, one stays close and the other ones gotta go, I've touched the very center of the bottom i can't be broke no mo....i was about to go in rappin using slang like "no cappin" 😂😂😂  
 let me calm down cause had i accepted everything i knew, i could've called it my most epic break through, wish when i was growing up i had a solid soul to take to, no role models no luck, just more problems no fucks... fucked over with no closure, weak minds get no èxposure, weak lungs dont smoke dojer,  
 
 likes retweets and hearts have torn my insides apart, made me even more unpopular with a method of measurement to assist whoever wants to prove that,  
 I don't have a choice but not to care, bad luck comes when i declare, something against me to be unfair, one complaint and success becomes faint, i start trying to figure out if i can make, money off of writing or trying to paint,  
 
 then I remember the whole point of this thing im writing lol  
 
 this bitch is crazy, defeat reflected ànd mistaken for lazy, fuck me pay me I'll have all your babies, handclaps and whore bags rewarded for that mess, but nobody through me a party when i passed that state test, in fact i dealt with more fakeness, and they felt i deserved it so when i asked for help they just told me to stay blessed, don't ask me about patience, cause I'm still waiting on some answers for a few jokes on me that i found tasteless, i done gone ape shit, literally had wig split, died came back, was treated rather indifferent,  
 much like always... hanging lingering in hallways.... with nobody to skip with,  
 
 so now you can't trust no one else, the game is all you've got left,  
 but even the game you can't just go with it, it yields a slow ticket, always presenting you with the first wrong move and worst ôutcome possible, sometimes it's best to choose the path with obstacles,  
 short cuts in between, they give you a break, but is that really what you need?