deepundergroundpoetry.com
Alone and lost in the unknown
if your reading this, than thank you.
the unimaginable feels my head and thoughts
I'm alone, I'm always alone.
trying to reach out for friendship and love
But I'm just a suicidal, depressed freak
I've fallen victim to my own critical thinking
Things are strange. very very fucking strange
I have this feeling like a felling never before
Its far from happiness and hope. its empty and dark
Im still ok to smile *twitch* I'm trying, ok?
where is everyone? Why is no one here?
Alone, nobody to talk to but myself and I scare me
phone calls never answered, same with texts
All I ever did was care and give a shit
I guess not enough for me.
not enough for me.
that doesn't matter though. does it? *twitch*
what is this feeling? Did I do something wrong?
I always fuck it up. everytime. I'm no good. Or am I?
what is happening? I'm still alone. I just need a friend.
I can no longer save myself from me.
A simple friend someone just who will listen.
pretend to care! because I longer do.
The feeling *twitch* its scaring me. where are you?
anyone at all? Is this death? Heaven? Hell?
I'm going under now, please grab my hand.
the unimaginable feels my head and thoughts
I'm alone, I'm always alone.
trying to reach out for friendship and love
But I'm just a suicidal, depressed freak
I've fallen victim to my own critical thinking
Things are strange. very very fucking strange
I have this feeling like a felling never before
Its far from happiness and hope. its empty and dark
Im still ok to smile *twitch* I'm trying, ok?
where is everyone? Why is no one here?
Alone, nobody to talk to but myself and I scare me
phone calls never answered, same with texts
All I ever did was care and give a shit
I guess not enough for me.
not enough for me.
that doesn't matter though. does it? *twitch*
what is this feeling? Did I do something wrong?
I always fuck it up. everytime. I'm no good. Or am I?
what is happening? I'm still alone. I just need a friend.
I can no longer save myself from me.
A simple friend someone just who will listen.
pretend to care! because I longer do.
The feeling *twitch* its scaring me. where are you?
anyone at all? Is this death? Heaven? Hell?
I'm going under now, please grab my hand.
Published 27th Aug 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
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31st Aug 2018 3:30pm
Sigh, I think we all feel this way. So why is it so lonely? Nice to read, well written.
2nd Sep 2018 4:43am
Thank you kindly. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. That means a lot to me! It really does. Again thank you :)
I read back and realised I never answered your question. "Why is it so lonely?" without drawing out a long story I will try to keep it simple. Aside from a few people in my life that have been through it all with me. People come and go often using and abusing me along the way. After all these years I force myself into isolation because I am afraid the cycle will continue. So I often spend my life alone. Reaching out through poetry and writings because I Feel I have no one I can really truly deeply open up to without a negative outcome. Thanks again for the read!
4th Sep 2018 1:31am
Well, if it means anything, here in the DU, you already know that you are valuable and interesting. I'd be hard pressed to believe anyone here would be anything but supportive and kind.
As for the rest of the world, assholes.
Now, I realize that's not terribly helpful, however, keeping yourself from people will only hurt you more in the end. At least that's my feelings about it.
From someone who's only recently come out of isolation, I have to say that people and relationships (not meaning just romantic) are so necessary for your own mental and even physical well being.
They're decidedly not all going to be keepers, but I'm 100% certain that there are those out there who feel the same way and are desperately wanting nothing more than someone to talk to/love that will treat them with kindness and respect.
True, they may be hard to find at first, but they'll never be found if you don't look for them. I promise at very least, one of them is also looking for you.
Keep hope alive and if nothing else, if you would like, message me anytime. I love to talk and I'm typically a very positive person. Good luck out there.
As for the rest of the world, assholes.
Now, I realize that's not terribly helpful, however, keeping yourself from people will only hurt you more in the end. At least that's my feelings about it.
From someone who's only recently come out of isolation, I have to say that people and relationships (not meaning just romantic) are so necessary for your own mental and even physical well being.
They're decidedly not all going to be keepers, but I'm 100% certain that there are those out there who feel the same way and are desperately wanting nothing more than someone to talk to/love that will treat them with kindness and respect.
True, they may be hard to find at first, but they'll never be found if you don't look for them. I promise at very least, one of them is also looking for you.
Keep hope alive and if nothing else, if you would like, message me anytime. I love to talk and I'm typically a very positive person. Good luck out there.
I sincerely appreciate such a caring and positive response. Im honestly trying to think how to properly respond to that message. It definitely made me smile and I needed that, thank you. I totally appreciate and understand what your saying about someone is out there looking for me too. I've been getting better about being more social. Its just that overall judgement and what society deems ok or normal. Normal is boring as hell lol. I really though take your response to heart, its nice to know there's people out there I can connect with on levels. Ill honestly read your reply a few more times at least and when I can figure out how to better thank you I will for sure. Sometimes I'm so witty and clever with words in my poetry but its sometimes hard to type it formally like right now lol. I wrote a thank you poem after I read this I guess it was an inspiring thing. I usually don't write like that. Its the darker twisted stuff I really like to just get out in words. Again thank you so very much for your kind words you have made this day that much better
4th Sep 2018 2:44am
No need for further thanks. Just know I'm here. Feeling wonderful for being able to shine my little light into your life. Way more satisfying than any praise I receive for my silly little rhymes.
