I'm Not a People Person, I'm a Peeful Person

It really sucks that my attitude is snotty;
Yet, I always have to use the potty.
There is always fluid draining from my brain;
It has made me quite insane.
Apparently, I have a huge bladder;
It makes me as mad as The Mad Hatter.
One day, I'm going to have to wear a diaper;
Because my thirst sense is so very hyper.
I also always have to pee and choke;
Because I, so very often, smoke.
It is an endless cycle of smoke, thirst, and piss;
A cycle I would rather dismiss.
I love to drink, and I love to smoke;
But, having an accident in my pants is not a joke.
I know the cycle never ends;
When I'm old, I know I'll have to wear Depends.
I remember I once passed out;
When it was hot, I was smoking, and my body felt a drought.
To quit would save so much money;
Much for me and much for my honey.
But, we know we can't quit;
Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!
Without further ado, no longer do I want to dwell;
Because constantly having to pee is a life of hell.  Oh, well!