To My Ex-Boyfriend

A man in the morning needs to be under a blanket;  
So he can hide it when he needs to spank it.  
It's not a man's fault he has morning wood;  
And solving the problem can feel very good.  
Though, it takes an asshole of a man to prefer masturbation;  
If he has a woman beside him who can fill him with elation.  
Even though, sometimes, she's not in the mood;  
Waking to him jerking off would, for him, be very rude.  
He should not prefer sex chats and porn over his girl;  
He should treat her life a precious pearl.  
He spent many hundreds of dollars on sex phone calls;  
Not on making his woman holler.  
Many times for loud fights, the police were called;  
But off to jail, he was never hauled.  
The problem is he does not respect her;  
He will hit her, demean her, and reject her.  
He need not compare her to a retard;  
And all is not forgiven with a sappy greeting card.  
For nine long years, he did abuse her;  
A 40-year-old pizza delivery guy; what a loser.  
For the longest time, he didn't tell her he hadn't gotten a divorce;  
He was such a nerd, he believed in the Force; he was also quite lazy at intercourse.  
He never ever used protection;  
Even when, after she was raped, and she got an infection.  
He would shower her with many-a-nice-dinner;  
Luckily, she was young, so he stayed fat; she stayed thinner.  
He always got her to bathe with him;  
He liked her body; not her mind; he thought she was dim.  
Showering her with expensive things didn't make up for the abuse;  
That is simply no excuse.  
He didn't try very hard to hide his deceipt;  
His computer porn, he would not delete.  
He banned her from touching his machine;  
Because he didn't have respect, had much to hide, and was mean.  
Her ex caused her many-a-tear;  
He wouldn't even let her relax with a beer.  
Over the balcony, he would throw it;  
And often, he still would expect her to blow it.  
She tried often to get away from him and sit on a sidewalk in town;    
And almost always, he would chase her down.  
He gave her a job at his work,
And was still evil to her; what a jerk!  
He wanted her to kiss figuratively and literally his ass;  
He made fun of heavy people with oral noises of gas.  
She tried her very best to clean;  
But, still he wasn't ever satisfied; he was mean.  
Nothing was ever good enough;  
When he was hitting her, he thought he was tough.  
He just wanted a young chick on his arm;  
He didn't care if he did her harm.  
He had more respect for his down's syndrome child;  
The worse he treated her, the more her mental problems piled.  
They were a dysfunctional couple from morning to night;  
With many-a-never ending fight.  
She saw no other options than to break up and get back together with him;  
About the way people get along with each other, she is dim.  
He didn't want her to have friends;  
Boy, the list of problems never ends.  
He did his best to turn her into a pitiful bitch;  
She even temporarily developed a twitch.  
When her sister committed suicide, he called her stupid;  
He and his daughter were certainly not cupids.  
For nine long years, it was all the same story;  
Luckily, it didn't get very gory.  
Over time, she recalls and blocks out many memories so full of mania;  
Is it any wonder she now has to fight severe depression and schizophrenia?  
But, now she has moved on to a man who is thin;  
And she is happier than she's ever been.  
For, this new man much respects her;    
And does everything to protect her.  
She's been with him for the best seven years of her life;  
And she is so happy to have just become his common-law wife.  
Even though it isn't legal, they never want to be apart;  
Because they used to have two; now they have one heart.  
They have been through many trials and many-a-tribulation;  
And, they often feel that they need a vecation.  
But, they know that they will never for long separate;  
Because they are one another's soulmate.