the meth diaries the struggle is real

 
I ended these diaries because I was tired  
of facing my failures on paper
it's time to begin again
because the day ahead of me could be rough
 
I'm a tweaker, I snort meth
I get high and I write
I'm afraid it's the drug's talent, not mine
but then I remind myself the type of writer I was before the crank
 
people try and get me down  
and say it's the drug that makes me bad-ass
I think they're wrong I think it's turned me into a pansy
crying about the hard road I have to walk
 
that some Sadistic prick called me to travel
I'm sure he gets some giggles over my pain
if you think I'm a bit bitter I am
 
I can't ever remember not being an addict
as a kid I would chug codeine bottles
cause it felt good, damned good
 
it still feels good today, getting high and creating
my brain synapses are firing double speed with all these thoughts
trouble is these days my muse is singing the same old song
get clean woman you're meant for greater things
 
so I'm high tonight and tomorrow is coming
but this time I'm not afraid to face it clean
because I know I can shelter here while I get better
 
no this isn't NA but I don't deal with them
this is my recovery
recorded in the insane journals of my mind
so this is what I'm on about till I get better
 
the Meth diaries
get ready for some real entries
 
I know when I sleep tonight
my demons are waiting for me
to push me to jump out of bed and use
like I did today
without forethought of the consequences
 
shit's about to get real