Forbidden

I cant look at other people the way i looked at you
I feel like my tongue is a jar of stories of us that is rattling to be let revealed yet i feel like ive told everyone
How your eyes shine and how beautiful your smile is
How the smile lines on your face make you even more entrancing
How when im with you its as if the world just stopped
Just stopped for me
For us
So i can gaze at you just a little longer

I would use the term forbidden fruit to describe you because the other words just dont make much sense
I want to encase your beauty in a blanket
A painting
A picture
I want it in my bed every morning to look at.
Its funny how the only thing i see beauty in is the one thing i destroyed
Its ironic actually


I just want this feeling to go away, so so bad
I want to find love in others but i feel i am such mess i do not deserve it
I feel as if no one will ever love me the way you did
No one will be able to see me the way you did
Im so terrified i lock myself away
I keep myself from finding happiness i am so selfish about myself that i really dont care if other people like me i just want them to leave me alone
Yet i want someone to love me


Ive been wallowing in my sadness for almost 6 months now
And everyone keeps telling me time will heal my wounds but its been so long yet such a short period of time
Its been such a short period bc i dont feel right about trying to love someone new yet
And its been so long since i heard the words i love you flow off your lips.