WHAT IS THIS THING ABOUT KITCHENS AND SEX?

What is this thing about kitchens and sex?      
(Usual start - pecks on cook's necks.)        
Is it the cooking gives off heat        
Tempting one to undress complete?        
Or association with taste        
Gets lips sticking on lips like paste?        
   
There may be logic, one may think,  
To combine sex with food and drink -  
All three called pleasures of the flesh -  
In such a room for a limb mesh.  
At least it shortens the journey  
When bedroom's top of a stairway.  
   
A place where couples get to sup        
On each other, freely served up,        
Having their fun amidst the flour        
When shared lust does overpower.        
A place where it's 'cool' to 'sizzle'        
While outside may be cold or drizzle.        
         
Let's face it, friends, some of the food        
Might inspire thoughts wicked and rude;        
The phallic sausage, round fried egg,        
The so-called 'dressed' (plucked) chicken leg,        
Those nuts that recall testicles,        
The earthy humour thus tickles.        
 
Some species of the veg and fruit  
Are poseable with birthday suit;  
Bananas, carrots, bunch of grapes.  
Melons do have suggestive shapes.  
While apples invite make-believe  
For role playing Adam and Eve.  
       
There's plenty there to help foreplay,        
Where taste and tongue set sex on way.        
It can be an intimate art        
To spread butter or jam on part,        
And things can get up to a scream        
When mouth plucks cherries from whipped cream!        
     
If in body both are able,      
Fun can be had on top or table      
If they can handle when naked      
A surface harder than a bed      
But easier, in the short term ,    
To clean off spilt juices or sperm.      
 
Sometimes the object of the whiles
Descends to the kitchen floor tiles
(Good incentive to keep them clean,
Maintain the shiny and smooth sheen).
"Night on the tiles" gets new meaning,
With or without pre-sex drinking.
 
Getting quasi-Fifty Shades    
Of Grey, sometimes the escapades    
Can be spiced a bit with a whack    
Of wooden spoon upon a back    
Or a temptingly round ass cheek,    
Leaving bruises on the physique.    
         
Was first to write scenes set in there        
Someone whose kitchen thus would share        
With the lover of their own life,        
Fiance, husband or a wife,        
Or some rich man who may have strayed        
To the arms of a kitchen maid?

Few movie scenes can make us think;
Fatal Attraction's kitchen sink,
And Nicholson's naughty-but-nice
In The Postman Always Knocks Twice
Upon a kitchen table done.
(Though both were extra-married fun.)