Hidden Broken

Is it selfish
Is it wrong
To grow so weary
Of being strong
The crashing waves against the rocks
Soaking my feet in my woolen socks
Chilled, shaking and fearful
Yet so calm, quiet and beautiful
I liked this pain
Because it was my own
Mine to harbor
Mine to sew
But they always wanted to take it away
They can’t understand
Its here to stay
Let me savor it
Let me devour it
Let me find the beauty in it
Like you tried to find the beauty in me
I’m sorry you couldn’t
I warned you
It’s not that easy
So just give up
Like the others before
I’ll never be enough
Because I’m not what you’ve been searching for
My heart is aching
My soles are sore
Please dont make me
ask for more
Is it so wrong to accept the hurt
To live with the pain like you’re in a yurt
The fire in the center
Smoke filling my lungs
The ashes all around me
Leaving me undone
But can’t you see
I’ve grown to like it here
Or is that the evil speaking
Inviting me to enjoy the fear
I know I can tell you want you want to hear
But I can’t mean it with a smile ear to ear
Unless you take the knife and slice me open
I’ll always just be the hidden broken