tired of dealing with my mind

all morning i have felt weird
now i am sitting here in tears
tired of my mind
i'm reduced to tears
the birds are tweeting outside
and i am sitting in my own pain

if i were to sing right now
it would be a sad note
mellow tunes of a tired fed up heart
the birds are still tweeting their happy chirpy little songs
as tears quietly settle

fragmented disconnected
everything sounds weird
as i sit here in my pain
wandeirng why the world has to be this way
if it wasn;t for the selfish cruelty of this world
then certainly i would definately be ok
but i'm not , a sad reality
sitting here in pain because the world simply isn't nice enough
and so i've had to suffer in consequence

do you think maybe just maybe
i am a bird divided from wings
a butterfly unable to fly
there is something wrong with me
my mind feels miles away
ahead of myself, disconnected from my arm
you try being this way, you wouldn't like it
and i'm still expected to keep trying
well i'm tired,, want to cry

listen to the birds out there
even their chirping seems distant
the cars outide of my window are driving along the once silent road
and i just have to feel dreamy bubbly in a trap
its ok for all you so called '' normal '' people
with your mental health and your sense of being sane, normal
yet you moan about silly little things
the bus is late and you are late to work
you were stuck in traffic and became stressed
long day at work and you are tired
oh wow, well.. big deal !

the average normal complains in this world
these are not problems or struggles
you just like to moan for the sake of complaining
in a relationship , without them for a few days
and so you get sad and you complain that this isn't fair
missing your favourite tv programme and you huff and puff
your friends are busy when you want their company and so you complain
atleast you can have days out
and you are complaining because you cannot see them when you want to
do not flipping complain, when you have what you want in life
the reality is you have nothing to complain about

i have to sit here with a mental illness every day
i never asked for such an illness
yet you moan about your missing programme
and your few days without your boyfriend
flipping hell , get over yourselves and grow up !
you are mentally well, be happy
you are content, so whats the problem
i have to wake up every day to feel weird
you wouldn't like it , would you
you try being me, i hate being me
its a trap, this life, my mind feels unwell
i do not understand life nor it's cruel ways
i'm beyond pained, i want it to stop