my day

The voice’s in my head
Taint it everything shades of red
Waking moments now so daunting
I just hope I’ll tide over
Hauling myself from my bed
To the shower
As naked as I feel inside
Curled up on the floor
How much longer can I hide?
I cannot forget
Will not forgive
Like a recurring nightmare
My day begins

I step through the common room door
And the walls start closing in around
The peoples stare piercing to the core
Swallowing the paranoia down
Right foot first I tell myself
As I almost forget how to walk
Trying not to catch a judgmental stare
As I search for a friendly face I know
Much to my own despair
No not today, I’m not that lucky
I make for my escape
The sound of laughter ringing in my ears
Knowing it will all just start again

Teachers hold no patience
“he’s just making excuses again”
They can’t see the scars
And they don’t feel my pain
All they see is another deadline missed
Voiced through clenched teeth they hiss
I keep my head down
Hoping for a moments respite
Staring at the clock
As it leisurely go round
Prolonging every soul sapping moment
Then finally the sound comes ringing loud and clear
The day is over for now at least

Practically sprinting the mile home
To close myself up in my room
Those four walls keep me like a fort
Tormented by the sounds of my family falling apart
Like a large besieging army
Taunting and assaulting
Trying to provoke me into some fruitless fight
Headphones in and oblivious to world
Hiding away until tomorrow it starts again.