deepundergroundpoetry.com
Not worthy of a place.
This is just a rant.
I feel like im not enough.
I look around.
See all these boys just like me.
Unnoticable to others about what they are.
Unable to tell them apart from anyone else.
Standing out like a cactus in a rose garden is me.
I dont pass and i dont fit in.
As ugly as that old doll you had when you were young.
Covered in marks,
Hair a mess,
Clothes not fitting right.
I am not beautiful.
I look for inspiration on social media about people like me.
Hopes and prayers that I am not the only one.
But i am.
Alone in a see of acceptance,
I am in a bubble of hatred.
All i see are beautiful,
Skinny,
Tall,
Flat chested,
Normal boys..normal trans boys.
Beautiful normal trans boys.
And i look around one more time.
A mirror and i see myself.
A body i am ashamed to call my own.
A scale that tells me I am too much for it to bare.
Binders that roll and squeeze my chest too tight even at the "right size" for me.
Clothes that can't hide what I am.
Wonderful people.
Gorgeous flower princes,
Handsome males,
Amazing and skinny and all around perfect.
And here sits me...
The wilted rose in the garden,
A discarded piece of trash in a gutter.
I do not deserve to be part of this community.
I am out of place everywhere I go.
Maybe.
Just maybe it's because out of place is exactly where I belong.
I feel like im not enough.
I look around.
See all these boys just like me.
Unnoticable to others about what they are.
Unable to tell them apart from anyone else.
Standing out like a cactus in a rose garden is me.
I dont pass and i dont fit in.
As ugly as that old doll you had when you were young.
Covered in marks,
Hair a mess,
Clothes not fitting right.
I am not beautiful.
I look for inspiration on social media about people like me.
Hopes and prayers that I am not the only one.
But i am.
Alone in a see of acceptance,
I am in a bubble of hatred.
All i see are beautiful,
Skinny,
Tall,
Flat chested,
Normal boys..normal trans boys.
Beautiful normal trans boys.
And i look around one more time.
A mirror and i see myself.
A body i am ashamed to call my own.
A scale that tells me I am too much for it to bare.
Binders that roll and squeeze my chest too tight even at the "right size" for me.
Clothes that can't hide what I am.
Wonderful people.
Gorgeous flower princes,
Handsome males,
Amazing and skinny and all around perfect.
And here sits me...
The wilted rose in the garden,
A discarded piece of trash in a gutter.
I do not deserve to be part of this community.
I am out of place everywhere I go.
Maybe.
Just maybe it's because out of place is exactly where I belong.
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