the receiver of pain

i'm crying, you ask why, why, because i'm in pain again
my pain , this pain seems to be like a tide
never leaving the sands side
hand in hand, maybe pain and me
live next door to each other
my neighbour still won't move
he's been here since the start of my problems
lingering annoyingly by the side of my skin

i like to think of the sand accepting the sea
thankful receiving hands
sand smiling, delicious laps of water
but i am not thankful, no

maybe the waves hands cling onto my neck
covering me in water because i am the closest
annoyingly holding on , in out, a few moments break
a minute, an hour, then i will feel it all rushing back again

years of living by the sea,  you would think my place
maybe it would have changed by now
but no , i still live here, living next door to someone
who only likes to throw me repeated pain
living in the present, feeling pain from my past
living in the now but hurting because i cannot live elsewhere

hitting their rough fists against your soft wall
unwanted music pushing it's way into your fed up ears
the sea simply lives by me, regardless of how i feel
i never have a choice

no control in my dainty freckled hands
the receiver of the unwanted, the receiver of pain
neighbours have the control and the sea wins over every time
washing over my gentle grainy hands
so many times, i've actually lost count