deepundergroundpoetry.com
Two Sides
Sometimes I have days in a row where I feel almost normal.
I say almost because there are always the racing thoughts at night.
And the endless toughts during the day.
But even those days I can find a reason.
A reason for the madness.
I know I’m afraid of the future, of loss, of growing up.
That’s why my thoughts race at night and never end during the day.
Those days are not the worst.
The days when I am sad and I don’t know why.
The days when I am devastated and don’t know why.
When you are depressed for a reason.
You can always make it right and move on.
Simply solve the problem.
But when you are depressed because of your brain chemistry.
There is no reason, there is no cure.
All you can do is wait and hope it passes.
On the other side of the spectrum are the days of pure happiness.
My energy is up; my thoughts are working twice as hard.
I can do anything and be anything.
These days are nothing to celebrate.
Because they are days where I am carefree and happy.
Just because.
Then when mania sets in.
Wants become needs.
Irritability becomes anger.
There is no reason so I wait it out.
What an unfortunate life to live dreading the sadness.
I say almost because there are always the racing thoughts at night.
And the endless toughts during the day.
But even those days I can find a reason.
A reason for the madness.
I know I’m afraid of the future, of loss, of growing up.
That’s why my thoughts race at night and never end during the day.
Those days are not the worst.
The days when I am sad and I don’t know why.
The days when I am devastated and don’t know why.
When you are depressed for a reason.
You can always make it right and move on.
Simply solve the problem.
But when you are depressed because of your brain chemistry.
There is no reason, there is no cure.
All you can do is wait and hope it passes.
On the other side of the spectrum are the days of pure happiness.
My energy is up; my thoughts are working twice as hard.
I can do anything and be anything.
These days are nothing to celebrate.
Because they are days where I am carefree and happy.
Just because.
Then when mania sets in.
Wants become needs.
Irritability becomes anger.
There is no reason so I wait it out.
What an unfortunate life to live dreading the sadness.
Published 19th May 2018
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 1
reading list entries 0
comments 2
reads 537
Commenting Preference:
The author is looking for friendly feedback.
21st May 2018 8:57pm
i can feel the pain throughout this piece of writing . so sad when we have to feel these ways .. not through our choice , but because of our brains or because of events which have caused depression , sadness, anxiety ..
i can relate in a way .. i can get very sad and at night times i sometimes find myself thinking about depressing things, maybe more so then throughout the day or atleast it feels more prominent at night time for some reason
i am sorry if you are suffering .. lifes truly very unfair , i know too well
i can relate in a way .. i can get very sad and at night times i sometimes find myself thinking about depressing things, maybe more so then throughout the day or atleast it feels more prominent at night time for some reason
i am sorry if you are suffering .. lifes truly very unfair , i know too well
21st May 2018 9:00pm
depressed for a reason .. many of us are depressed with reason but we cannot always solve it or atleast sometimes we dont know how so we continue on feeling '' depressed and sad '' because we feel we have no choice but to feel this way .. for example loneliness can make people feel sad, depressed, down .. but what if we cannot make friends or we cannot find a bf etc then that in itself the fact we cannot reach what we want .. that makes us sad ..
sorry to hear of your mental health issues.. i too have mental health issues and no its certainly not fair
sorry to hear of your mental health issues.. i too have mental health issues and no its certainly not fair
