my terrorist

i feel a hundred and one degrees
searing through the capillaries within my body
and it is the proof that i am once again
locking myself behind cages and
wearing beautiful masks
i become something i am not

i wonder how he is capable of
noticing it when i
slip away from him
the moments when my fingers
trickle out of his and he seems to hold on
and squeeze
a little tighter to reassure me
i don't have to be alone in this
but i am not
for there are always those haunting thoughts
screaming and mocking

i am turning into those people
everyone hates and
jeers at for having no life
for i have no life in me
i agree

so why do i still feel like i am about to

explode?

but i will not be as pretty a sight as
fireworks in the sky but more of a plane
crashing through buildings and
killing lives.