I Will Return

As I lay down onto the mat,  
Already my anticipation is heightened,  
I take a couple of long slow deep breaths,  
Letting the air flow out slowly and methodically,  
I have arrived,
I am ready.  
 
The room is beyond quiet,  
Yet I am not alone.  
A steady heartbeat echos my life,  
As an aura approaches my corpse like body,  
I am relinquishing control,  
Trusting that I will be well taken care of.  
 
It happens - the first touch,  
Not by contact, but by a sense,  
That the barrier of closeness has been broken,  
I open myself to what will present itself.  
 
The waiting is over,  
My outer shell's weaknesses are exposed and healed,  
As wave after wave of life giving touch is transferred onto me,  
My body willingly lets go.  
 
My mind, however, struggles.  
It does not trust - Not the touch, but the self.  
The touch being received is strong and most true,  
The mind, the self,  
Is not.  
 
As the physical reaps the rewards of the skillful touch,  
The mental fights confusion,  
It cannot let go,  
It is not at peace.  
 
For it has not let go of its deepest desires,  
It still wants beyond the mat,  
It has not accepted the moment for all that it is,  
It now wanders in and out of restlessness.  
 
As the body is slowly released,  
And awakens to its senses,  
A calmness is felt within.  
The mind is somehow relieved,  
To have control of its body again.  
 
It is a process to surrender oneself to another,  
To let go of all attachments to the self,  
For to be truly free,  
We must trust that the mind and body are one.