essence of a wo[e]man, gritty n pure however misconstrued

 
 
 
its becoming incorrigibly  
hard to recollect if not account for  
how it all turned up this  
p(r)etty  'in’+‘digestible’  
way..as i try to inch away  
from the shaded ordeal  
 
 a sham of an interface  
 
you cared with such 'careful' care  
in its consciously dragged limits  
to what the hideous you  
always wanted to end up  
with  
 
the deservedly  
disintegrating mass  
of what I became,  succumbed  
in impossibly flexing kinetics  
to your  
frothing in algal salivation  
and crankily sliding in  
cantankerous mouth  
 
the so crux of the matter  
appeared earlier in an inner  
flash, that somehow  
knowingly  
went in for a suicidal  
burial  
 
 
you have cared too talentedly much  
to cautiously not care for the melted  
‘love’ word amidst other erased things  
when it all takes anything to put up acts  
for the frigid world of foxic airs  
 
mind python – swollen  
abominable  
and in a lazing drowse in the ruins  
smirks in a lowly wicked way  
of its largely gotten honed skills  
& glint over this one’s    
cheap labour spent  
 
the swallowed sinking self  
in zigzagging bulges, drawn  
to your gizzard guillotines  
in peristaltic installments  
surprisingly  
fastens its pace  
as if the hardly revolting sucked in lumpful lust  
is in wilful submission  
to your agreed upon greed  
from its mounting guilt  
in a final countdown  
of self- {sacrificial redemption}  
 
 
sugar-coated evincible labels  
in whatever bold and fanciful fonts  
for a made-up replaceable wear  
of ‘‘its” yearned non-presence  
boomerangs back  
in brutal multitudes of its absence  
until the earned self  
tears in in its face  
with itself in pureness  
 
can I do it ..either live or outlive it..  
 
or just be the branded glam mannequins  
in an inner pierced sterling melancholy  
swinging in to the trespassers’ whims  
in easy mocking allowances  
and even easier evasions