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Hard to Swallow
(sonnet)
poésie érotique comiquement 11/30
(think of it being recited by Michael Caine)
She said that I should be a man of taste,
She said she had a plan for my success,
She said the time I "spent" was just a waste,
But she would have me at my very best.
She seems so kind, when she invites me in,
But when I come, it turns into a spat.
The girl can’t help herself, all coos and grins,
But when I’m “there,” she yowls a-scalded-cat.
So she begins my guided regimen,
No coffee, booze, or other tainted fare,
Just celery, all plain, with cinnamon
And pineapple*, ‘s much as I can bare.
How happy! She gives praise to my “new man,”
With no spats now, she takes in all she can.
poésie érotique comiquement 11/30
(think of it being recited by Michael Caine)
She said that I should be a man of taste,
She said she had a plan for my success,
She said the time I "spent" was just a waste,
But she would have me at my very best.
She seems so kind, when she invites me in,
But when I come, it turns into a spat.
The girl can’t help herself, all coos and grins,
But when I’m “there,” she yowls a-scalded-cat.
So she begins my guided regimen,
No coffee, booze, or other tainted fare,
Just celery, all plain, with cinnamon
And pineapple*, ‘s much as I can bare.
How happy! She gives praise to my “new man,”
With no spats now, she takes in all she can.
Published 11th Apr 2018
Author's Note
It was as if Muse had taken voice as Alfred himself and were dictating the poem to me...
*urban legend has it that celery makes more of a man and cinnamon and pineapple makes a man of better taste (keeping in mind that I say "more" and "better taste," this is an erotic poem).
*urban legend has it that celery makes more of a man and cinnamon and pineapple makes a man of better taste (keeping in mind that I say "more" and "better taste," this is an erotic poem).
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12th Apr 2018 8:59am
12th Apr 2018 2:00pm
Someone else asked about that -
I envision (as little as I did) two fellas having beers at a pub and one is pontificating to his mate about his change in "diet."
"nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say-no-more..."
And it spoke in my head in a Michael Caine cockney.
I envision (as little as I did) two fellas having beers at a pub and one is pontificating to his mate about his change in "diet."
"nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say-no-more..."
And it spoke in my head in a Michael Caine cockney.
