Im sorry nyx

i read this and laughed,u say nyx is just like me and im the one who made you two talk yet im not thanked? And you told me the exact same "i love you and mean it" how many times? Maddie i want the best for you,get help and stay strong.  Im trying to help my friend over suicide you need to use her weakness as ur gain.  Life is always worse on the other side,look at mine. I have to tell my mom im suicdial and i cut afer i havent seen her in five years or hed a conversation more than "i hate you go die" in about two. I love you from the bottom of my heart,so get better. If not for me and nyx then for whoever u truly love in this life.
Peace and Anarchy,
Benji

im not going to thank you ben. to be quite honest i regret alot of things i said to you. not trying to be rude but i do regret saying i love you to you. i will admitt i liked the attention and time we spent together but i also regret it, because i didnt mean it, but i do know what i think of as love now, and i have someone i do love. ive gotten my help, and dont judge me because i said i love you to you, how many times and people have you said it to? alot. ben theres more reasons i dont talk to you anymore besides the fact i cant. But please stop throwing your life in my face. you dont even know half the stuff thats gone on since ive talked to you. i know i know your life is terrible, you've told me many times. and yes i made a shitload of mistakes, im human. it happens. but im trying my damnedest to not do the same thing to Xanaga i did to you, so please stop, just leave me be, and let the past go. im not going to say i love you, because i dont. im sorry but, please  dont try to be apart of my life anymore.

i would say about itme but this isnt the first time uve gotten rid of me. Glad u used me,shows me that nobidy truly cares. Sorry Nyx and Em but its come to this point.  Im thru and gone,just forget me.  im just that toy u had for so long then got bored of. if only u knew how bad u hurt me,if u go back to the Ridge i might be there.
Bye and i regret it all too,so very much. Only reason i put up with ur crap was because i thought u actually liked me. Ha everyones a liar

I didnt get rid of you, you removed yourself. I didnt use you, at the time i thought i did like you, i thought i did love you, but time changes everything. You shouldnt let my words hurt you, thats not why they were spoken, dont tell nyx and emily to forget you. They do care about you ben, i can promise you that. I care, just in a different way. Dont hurt yourself dear, this nor am i worth it. And when i say i regret it, i mean i shouldnt have let it gone on for so long, it would of saved us both alot of pain, i think we can both agree on that. And why does me saying i moved on show that no one cares? you have people who care about you ben, but you keep pushing them away....dont do that, stick with them. And hun, you fed me alot of crap too. So dont act like this is ALL my fault, yes i played a role in it but so did you darlin. Dont freak over things i say to you, just get past the hurt ive caused and live your life, do it for nyx.