What I need

I  
Know what I need.
I guess I always have...
 
As I have taken detours of life
and enjoyed walking down certain  
sordid paths...
 
I know what I need.
 
Like an alcoholic knows they need
help ...as they help themselves to a
swig of vodka before breakfast.  
 
I... know what I need.
 
As parts of my being  
transform and evolve from all the pain
I have survived through...
from all the times I've been lied to  
and all the times that I.... tried to
hold on...to broken pieces of me  yeah...
 
I... know what I need.
 
I know I am a flower... that was once
choked by various weeds...
Now... I... have learned how to breathe
Now... I... have learned how to believe in me.
 
Now... I can finally see....
Beyond my internal excuses...
and outward abuses...
I see... in between the lines
of my times....
I see the Truth....and I see how much
I squandered in my Youth....
 
Yes...I know what I need.
 
It may change tomorrow  
As I am an ever evolving creature...
But for today...
I...know what I need.