A New Year

 
It started like a weird film measured in mics
Purple and Red pyramids
Looking back through
Translucent window panes
Memories can be warped as much as perception

It was New Year’s night
Snow fell in huge soft blades
I will never forget how it looked
In her hair
Crystalline and pure

I don’t remember everything as well as I should
but the snow fell long and late
Surreal, serene
What a great trip we were having
Down Dead Head lane

Sitting on the limestone wall
She smiled, and began to laugh
It was hysterical and infectious, we laughed
Until our stomachs hurt
I think my cheeks cramped up

I cannot remember ever laughing so hard
I wasn’t laughing at her
Sobbing uncontrollably
Tears and melted snow washed heavy
Eye makeup in rivers down her face

I froze to realign my brain
All I could manage was, “Are you…”
She said they used to come here a lot
In a calm matter of fact way

I had no idea, of who he was or what I should say
So, I told her of my sorrow
I never intended to dredge up old pain
This turned into a horrible trip
Down memory lane

I wanted to get away from this place
But she wanted to explain
She told me she knew better than to go on a date
It was six years before, on New Year’s
When he blew out his brains

Something hit me so familiar
My stomach sunk and exploded in the snow
When she told me his name
I hadn’t seen him for years when it happened
Unaware it was her at that party
Upstairs in the room with sloped walls

Begging him to see clearly
To put down that twelve-gauge shotgun
It didn’t have to be that way, but
They counted it down, waiting for midnight to come

Three,
       two,
            one

Happy New Years! Fireworks and cheers
No one noticed at first, a lot of people
Were shooting their guns

Police came, took statements and pictures of the mess
On the floor and the walls
Powder flash stains
In her hair. On her face

I knew what had happened, it was right down the street
A childhood friends brother
but I listened anyway
I can’t remember all the details
But the snow looked like diamonds in her hair