another dose of melodrama centering around token boy #2

i’m resting on the edge between feeling real and thinking numb,  
you can’t tell i’m faking, breaking, maybe i’m dumb  
i’m just sitting here to rot  
i think it’s all my fault  
i think i am the villain after all
i’ll turn to ruin so i won’t have to feel so goddamn small  
i can’t write about anything other than myself  
but i’m gonna dedicate the next few lines to you dream boy
 
let’s just hope the sadness doesn’t leak through, that i don’t make you into my toy
i can tell you’re feeling fine all wrapped up in my mind  
i think my like for you may be suffocating, darker than i thought  
you’re gonna save me or this was all for naught  
i caught you, knotted you, put you up on a shelf  
you can never know how much i need this  
you’re pulling away now, falling from my loving insults  
play the victim again so i can feel more like an unsalvageable maniac
let me taste the salt you’re spilling, my skull is bound to crack  
i think i’m addicted to the hurt, i’ll peel myself open for the promise of just one kiss  
but you have to mean it, baby, spit in me and tell me i’m worthless  
 
this is still about me, touch me, pull me back into reality, i’m shaking nervous  
crashing from the heights of my latest fantasy, the next one just might kill me  
but it’ll be worth it just to feel something for a little while  
i’m starting to believe that i deserve to sink in your vile  
my words are messy, i’ll stop pouring now  
i overanalyze and twist you up more than i ever should, it’s all ending now.  
(we were never real)