stupid girl

i don’t want to need you  
i don’t want to cling on to the hopeless parts  
tear my head apart, make me break  
you’ll never know how much i ache  
you’re careless, i think i like the taste of it  
kill me more--i’m the one loading the gun  
a misplaced delusion away from coming undone  
i like the complication--i twist it up myself  
you don’t act like you do in my mind  
why can’t you just get it right?  
 
you think your brain’s better than mine  
fuck that, you don’t know anything  
about communication, hearts and healing  
you’re so oblivious to human nature it hurts  
read Tri-axium but that won’t tell you how to deal with me  
how to care, how to see but i’m just a body made of dirt    
so go ahead ignore me forever--play your stupid sax, relax  
while i have a thousand heart attacks  
i’m exaggerating, i know this  
but i can’t let you go around thinking it’s all fine  
i hate you and i need you so fucking bad  
you’re gonna end up stabbing my head with a knife  
you didn’t even know you had
(i'm not real)