Long time not friends friends.

It feels unsettling strange to talk to people from your past, specially those with whom you had some kind of intimacy. You feel like you know that person. You spent time with them, you got to know them at least a bit so you feel willing to talk to them again except that you don't know that person anymore. They might keep some of the things you remember, some resemblance to who they are now with the one you got to know but they are no longer the same. You don't know them anymore, so what do you have? What's left? It's weird, you only have your memories together to talk about and in the same time remembering that they are not the same person. You have to get to know them all over again and hope that you can still be friends. You give them updates from the time you've been apart and they give it back to you. Sometimes things are easy and you feel like that person you knew is still there but other times, more usually, they are nothing more than a memory and you know that for a fact now. You know that that person you knew isn't there and it ruins that for you, at least some of it. So maybe that's why I don't talk to people. I don't look for them, I don't try to reach them even though I miss them  because I'm afraid that if I do, then I will officially lose them.