Craving

I reach for the blade
it cuts so effortlessly
red comes out of nowhere
I can't help but think
it is so easy
then I realize
I don't feel pain
or relief
what happened
it always works
I grip the blade harder
driving it into my skin with more force
I dig deeper with every stroke
I finally feel the pain
but still no more of the relief I crave
I start to cry
I drop the blade
and watch
helpless
as the blood oozes out of my body