clueless

What a fight is this in my body  
what a battle in the field of my soul  
all are blurring to a matrix that's lost  
what is it that matters the most  
 
I was strong like a sacrifice's warrior  
I was lost in my own existence  
now I carry the scars of my loss  
now I wonder of what could be worse  
 
Meet me under the earth revolutionists  
hollow is my self and I fill it with love  
seek me soaring in a star distilled cloud  
where all are unlike but nothing stands out  
 
Maybe it's better to stay on the surface  
or should I drown my guilt in my bed  
going down with it seems terrible news  
my presence is happy but awfully abused  
 
Self fulfilling prophecy found  
my purpose is hiding in my shadow's tricks  
wisdom of lifetimes is hard to retrieve  
which will be the time that I'll finally leave  
 
Reality doubts  
I doubt reality  
the sun is now lost in the depth of my dark  
I search of peace but  I'm under attack  
 
Killing philosophies  
meanings exist not  
The muses are singing a riff of eternity  
life is fiction, my final quote