Laugh

People say that laughter is the best medicine.
They mean the good laughter, that comes from deep within.
That bubbles up uncontrollably.  Warm and comforting.
Like a hug from a loved one when you walk in the door.

Not all laughter is medicine though, not all laughter is warm.
Some laughter is bright and brittle, like a sheet of ice.
It's nervous, it slips across the lips to hide the doubt.
A thin skin, transparent when seen, shattered when noticed.

Some laughter is a hammer, bludgeoning, bruising, breaking.
Circles, laughing together at one of their number.
The laugher a weapon, wounding and whipping.
Causing confidence to bleed out onto the soil.

Some laughter is a shield, against solitude
Sometimes you just want to share something, anything.
Light, meaningless, frivolous, anything, other than darkness.
Other than fear, other than loneliness.

Some laughter is a lie.  Laughed to fit in. Forced.
Laughed to avoid the questions. Scrutiny.
Laughed because sometimes that's all you can do.
Because laughing with them, stops them laughing at you.

Sometimes you laugh and you don't know why.
You look at yourself laughing, like a stranger, contemptuous.
You laugh and laugh, moving further and further from yourself.
Sometimes laughter is just another way to cry.