My Rock

He helped me,
He was my rock,
Always helping.
We would write together,
Laugh together,
Bond together.
I tried to help him,
But it was too late.
He was too far gone,
Too far in the deep abyss he was in.
His last breath was something I never knew came...until weeks later.
His friend messaged me,
Saying I’m so sorry.
I didn’t believe it,
How could I?
After feeling okay for once,
How could I believe my rock was gone?
I felt horrible,
Like it was my fault.
I couldn’t help him,
I tried but I failed,
And his life was the consequence.
I wish he was here,
Able to tell me everything was okay…
He said something to me everyday,
I almost forgot it.
“Stay positive,
Even if you’re having the worst day,
There is always an upside.
If someone hurts you, they’re having a rough day,
And you’re the first they see.
Don’t give up Sofia,
Always fight it,
If not for you,
Then do it for me…”
I’m trying,
I really am trying.
I’m trying to get better,
To stay alive,
To be healthy,
But it’s so hard.
I want to give up,
To see him again,
For him to hold me,
And wipe away my tears.
I want him to tell me it’s all okay,
That I did my best and that it was enough.
I want him to smile and make me laugh.
How can I live without his positivity?
How can I manage,
When I know he’s gone…
Forever.