Arctic Imbued

I've always known life as a poker game
Calculating potential by the hand we've been dealt
We're faced with choices, one
After another, with no scale to measure morality
Nor the consequences we're dragged through

Our parents raise us
Injecting us with their own views, perspectives
And values
They force perfection on us,
Dragging us to to whiten our teeth, to force a masterpiece
That wasn't meant to be
I recall the decision when I was seven years old
Evil beckoned from the dark
Corners of my mind
The thoughts that are my deepest secret
And most shameful fear
Almost doing acts that were the symptoms of serial killers
Yet I turned my head, crawled my way
Out of the dark that laughed at my feeble attempts
To breathe light

A walking contradiction,
Dyed hair and piercings,
Combat boots and cigarettes,
But raised in perfection of education
And charisma, social etiquette
As I grew older, my ideals began to different greatly
From those who raised me
I saw the darkness in their hearts, mirroring the heart I could
Have chosen that cold day in September

So I fought, blindly,
Scratching at the hands that fed me
And instead hunting for my own
I hit back to his punches
I stopped listening when she shouted
I became free

The independence, however,
Was not priceless
Guilt plagues my lungs and loneliness
Dances on my ribcage
A young hurricane, created from silver and gold
But stuck in the rainbow of the oil slick
Gifted, they say
Broken, I argue
Naive, he shouts
Wiser, I spit
Dumb, she laughs
Brave, I whisper
Criminal, it murmurs

Rebel, I call