RAW MEMORIES

Its been over ten years since that unforgettable day
I can remember it like it was just yesterday
the intense emotions I can't yet escape
as in your hands you had yours and my fate
It still haunts me the helplessness and fear
thinking of it brings a tear.
You thought you found a friend in the meth
but it nearly brought your death
I just find it hard to understand why
you became on such a mission to die
I tried so hard to get you some help
You were oblivious as to how I felt
I felt trapped like I couldn't leave
the  threats you made I did believe
I thought the moment that I left
you would go through with your death
It was like you were going to make me pay
for what still eludes me till this day
one day off in the car you sped
I was filled with horror and dread
the police you had on a high speed chase
all the while you were off your face
you lost control and were bought to a halt
I was amazed as the police didn't hold you at fault
they had you assessed but then let you go
within 24 hours the  house you wanted to blow
so you started to fill with it with gas
the front door you wouldn't allow me to pass
your words “I am going to blow us to kingdom come”
I knew I had to get out and run
I got out the window, you gave chase
I got away and went to a friends place
I called the police, who didn't believe me a first
then all of a sudden they came in a burst
sirens blaring, so many police in one spot
you would have thought someone was shot
the street they evacuated, the news was there
nothing I had been through could ever prepare
for the endless hours I had to wait
to find out if it all is too late
the Tactical Response Group was called in
and the operation started to begin
a map of the house I had to draw
they were not going to use the front door
the negotiator make contact with you
I was scared as to what you might do
the TRG was set up in stealth
eventually you gave in yourself
away in the ambo off you went
to the hospital you were sent
committed only for a couple of days
I was terrified and scared and still in a haze
they sent you home with no follow up or advice
you were just left to your own device
heavily sedated and very irrational you became
I felt so alone, no one I could tell, so much shame
deluded and angry you wanted to drive the car
so I took the keys but before I got far
a sledgehammer you picked up and you came for me
I did my very best to flee
you caught me and dragged me inside
around my neck your hands did glide
gasping for air, I couldn't get any breath
into unconsciousness I went and you left
I woke up confused my lips were numb
and slowly back to me my memory did come
I didn't know where to turn
in shock and full of concern
it did not end there no you still hadn't finished
not until my entire soul had diminished
So then I find you hanging from a beam
your eyes protruding like nothing I’d seen
Inner strength somehow I found
to enable me to get you down  
back to the hospital you were sent
again they released you with your consent
enough was enough I had to get away
with my life I wasn't going to pay
It's been over a decade since this event
but the memories never went
It's still hard to make sense out of the mess
As now I suffer Post Traumatic Stress.