deepundergroundpoetry.com
Aftermath
it was the second Saturday from last
when you decided I wasn't the one for you
the day you left me
the day I only felt company in the flame of my lighter
you haven't found time to check on me I suppose
because you're socially active on those apps
but forgot what my name is in your phone
tell me
how does it feel
to know that you will never be loved the same
now tell me
how does it feel
to know that I will be loved greater
does it sting?
when you decided I wasn't the one for you
the day you left me
the day I only felt company in the flame of my lighter
you haven't found time to check on me I suppose
because you're socially active on those apps
but forgot what my name is in your phone
tell me
how does it feel
to know that you will never be loved the same
now tell me
how does it feel
to know that I will be loved greater
does it sting?
Published 12th Dec 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 4
reading list entries 0
comments 6
reads 648
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
12th Dec 2017 7:13pm
Great write shelbythicke
i really like the line
"the day you left me
the day I only felt company in the flame of my lighter"
i really enjoyed this poem
for an honest critique
in the line
"how does it feel to know that you will never be the loved the same"
take out the "the" and it flows better.
fantastic writing keep'em coming.
i really like the line
"the day you left me
the day I only felt company in the flame of my lighter"
i really enjoyed this poem
for an honest critique
in the line
"how does it feel to know that you will never be the loved the same"
take out the "the" and it flows better.
fantastic writing keep'em coming.
12th Dec 2017 7:33pm
Thank you!
I didn't even notice that I had typed an extra "the."
I appreciate the feedback! xx
I didn't even notice that I had typed an extra "the."
I appreciate the feedback! xx
12th Dec 2017 7:44pm
no problem at all that's what an extra set of eyes are for.keep up the good poetry and i'll be back to read.
Anonymous
- Edited 13th Dec 2017 5:55am
12th Dec 2017 7:44pm
I really enjoyed this write. It expresses pain and hurt but also has a fire and passion surrounding that and not letting them win. You will come out greater in the end as you know. Well done! Xo
12th Dec 2017 8:52pm
21st May 2018 7:24pm
yes, a truly good read , pain longing but self worth in knowing that someone else can love you .. so much more ! i like the voice of self worth shining through at the end ..
how does it feel
to know that I will be loved greater
does it sting?
the voice of self love and self worth..
how does it feel
to know that I will be loved greater
does it sting?
the voice of self love and self worth..
