the rambling of a sleep deprived young woman

"I love you"
Three words thrown around
But what do they mean?
I thought they meant something
"I'll stand by you"
"I'll support you"
"We're a team"
"I never want to lose you"
But do they really?
Do they mean anything at all?
I've heard these three words,
Three stupid words
From many people
From family to friends to cruel human beings
Yet my mother never speaks to me anymore
My sisters ignore most my messages.
My friends send half responses,
And past 'relationships' leave me broken.
Even now with my current lover,
I hear him say those three words
But what do they mean?
Is love really screaming at me in the early mornings,
When I don't have whatever you need out and ready?
Is love sleeping facing away from me,
As far over as the bed will allow?
Is love insulting me,
Or laughing at me when I don't know something?
Is love really supposed to hurt like this?
I've transplanted myself into an entirely different climat,
I've traveled across country to be with you in your time of need.
We said things would be better once we left Florida,
But instead I sit home alone.
I get insulted.
I know noone here but your exes.
I patiently wait for you to come home,
Hoping you're not too tired from work,
But knowing you're heading to bed once you get here.
I long for you to look at me the way you used to,
To make me feel beautiful again
And more than anything,
I silently beg to hear you say three words,
Those three words..
'I love you'
But what do they even mean?