i hate the sunrise

Do you remember the last night you held me
Just as vividly as I do
Did my lips on your ear make you tremble
Do you remember the tears streaming from
My heartbroken and eyes
Down onto your arm and on your shirt?
Where my head has lain
For so many long nights,
For so many shorter nights
But those long nights were never enough,
Because I just kept wanting more
Of the sneak away fairy tales
The late night kisses that were purely stolen
And promised into my memory, until
The last palpitation of my bleeding heart
That seizes the ignition fueling my soul
God damn it, baby
I just wanted you to remember me so badly
That I tripped
and


       F
           E
                L
                    L


Into the best kind of love
My feeble mind could hardly comprehend
The feeling of my heart
thumping a million beats per second
As if it may jump out of my chest
When I see the most perfect smile
I've desperately fallen in love with
But the feeling of your embrace
Is slowly fading with time
It's just a laceration scabbing over
I'm getting harder with time
I cant remember the hold of your arms
That kept my brain demons at bay
And slowed my heartbeat
With soothing consolation in my ear
 I wish I could hold you just once more my dear
I can't stand to see the sunrise anymore
Because it was shining in my eyes
The last time I walked away from you
One final kiss lingered on my lips
For the longest time
And it burned and I tried so hard to wipe away
The pain of missing you with
Every little piece of me
But it never worked
And I cant see at night without you
I cant sleep, dream, I cant breathe without you
These songs remind me of you
So I mute the radio
And try to inhale through the cracks in my heart
I'm going through withdrawls
And they're pretty bad,
let me tell you
But you don't see how thin the thread is
That I'm barely caring to grasp onto
I'm sorry that I made you cry
Because we weren't supposed
To fall in love
But seeing that I broke your heart
Has broken mine a million times over
Caught in a loop
And I feel it everyday
And it still hurts just as bad as it did
The first time
How do I kill these thoughts in my head
Before they kill me?