Love Lost

There's a pit in my stomach.

An ache in my heart.

and bullets lodged into mind.

All because I couldn't let go of a man who was never fully mine.

Take a moment and travel in time,

Go back to the day you stopped loving me.

Would you have tried harder?

Stayed a little longer?

Probably not.

but hey it was worth a shot.
A shot in the wrong direction.

Why couldn't you ever show me any affection?

I guess we never even had that connection.

I was blinded by that smile that made me feel like I was in denial.

I was deafened by your voice, that made me forget that I had a choice.

Numbed by your touch.

I just couldn't get enough.

I was suffocating on your scent.

Now I'm hell-bent.

Hell-bent on finding any piece of clothing smells like your cologne,

Now that I'm alone.

You blindsided me through text,

Now you're onto the next.

You ask me not to hate you.

I wish I never even dated you .

Maybe go back a few years, and never even meet you.

You're cold.

When it's your heart, I just wanted to hold.

Love and cherish.

Now I'm just embarrassed.

Why'd you have to lead me on?

when you knew that we weren't going to last very long.

I gave you my time, money, food, and more.

I never knew what fate had instore.

You promised me forever and gave me a day.

Now I feel like I just got played.

I wish you would have never come back.

I hate this feeling.

Everything is out of whack.

You said it made you feel sick knowing how badly you hurt me.

That night you said you'd be there to talk.

Yet you just decided to walk.

I took you off of everything.

Every social media facet I had you on.

I delete the messages you send me now.

How could you so easily do this to me?

Just tear me apart and walk away like you didn't just ruin me forever.

I can't focus at work.

All because my fucking heart hurts.

You have me feeling like the little girl that was left on the side of the road while her daddy drove.

Drove away to start a new life without me.

Waving and crying.

but now it's more.

I feel like my heart is dying.

My mind is lying,

"You'll be okay."

My soul is screaming,

"What is the reason for you leaving?"

My heart is silent.

It's tears are violent.

I can't even say you lost me.

The thought of seeing you, hearing your voice.

makes my heart speed up,

Makes me sick in my gut.

Knowing that I wasn't enough.

I don't ever want to fall in love again