deepundergroundpoetry.com
knifes and pain
i lock myself up and i have a knife
i cut my wrist i feel the pain and let
it in i enjoy that pain and to feel the warm blood
trickle down gives me the chills that i love
the pain as the blade pierces my skin feels
reveling and i stay locked up i hide the truth
from my family they'll never know for they don't
want to
i cut my wrist i feel the pain and let
it in i enjoy that pain and to feel the warm blood
trickle down gives me the chills that i love
the pain as the blade pierces my skin feels
reveling and i stay locked up i hide the truth
from my family they'll never know for they don't
want to
Published 14th Sep 2011
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likes 2
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comments 3
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Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
15th Sep 2011 7:07pm
wow this is a really good poem i enjoyed all of it
there's so much written on this subject on DU; most of it is long,
awkward, self-conscious, and stuffed with supposed "dark" adjectives.
your poem is concise and unaffected.
your other two poems, on the other hand, show that you need more practice.
what works for me in this poem is your straightforward description.
keep it clean, simple; and keep writing, you have a feel for it.
(just put it on my reading list.
welcome to DU, you'll do just fine here.)
awkward, self-conscious, and stuffed with supposed "dark" adjectives.
your poem is concise and unaffected.
your other two poems, on the other hand, show that you need more practice.
what works for me in this poem is your straightforward description.
keep it clean, simple; and keep writing, you have a feel for it.
(just put it on my reading list.
welcome to DU, you'll do just fine here.)
Anonymous
16th Sep 2011 11:47am
Agreed...
This is a wonderfully written piece!
Well done!
Welcome.
This is a wonderfully written piece!
Well done!
Welcome.
