theROOM

this room
..walk into the room the paranoia is rife
eyes avoiding then engaging sharp as a knife,
that's thrust into my back by myself,
self flagellating, self harming fragments of my mental health
this room
walking into the room, drops a couple of degrees,
whilst my core temperature rises, watching my breath freeze
like smoke, twisting like silent words unspoke
and spoken about me designed to alienate and provoke
this room
this uncontrolled churning sensation inside
masked in this blank expression, cool, aloof and tries to hide
the staccato bullets of sweat, that silently betray
every emotion I try to conceal today
this room
in this room I have no choice but enter
submerged in these feelings that may relent or
continue to escalate from my baseline,
aroused in the most non-sexual way, like snorting a badly cut line
this room
of cocaine, brain starved of dopamine and serotonin
if it was not so real I could only grin
and bear it and decide to share it from my digital pulpit
put a positive spin on this rhyming culprit
this room
who is culpable in engaging in occasional ambivalent relationships
sharing infantile self destructive Freudian slips
before entering the room waxing all poetic
inside the room the realisation of how pathetic
this room
I must present and how I seem
and can only hope its this recurring dream
that gives me this feeling of unassailable doom
in this room