deepundergroundpoetry.com
Whispers
(i) Essence
My essence screams out
beseeching understanding
but no one listens
(ii) Music
Music in my head
songs echo through my being
all sound fades away
(iii) Consciousness
Words drift in my mind
thoughts awry, consciousness fades
everything goes black
(iv) Serenades
Winds bring serenades
currents are for free fancies
somehow stealing hearts
(v) Voices
Whispers from afar
secret voices in my ears
can anyone hear
My essence screams out
beseeching understanding
but no one listens
(ii) Music
Music in my head
songs echo through my being
all sound fades away
(iii) Consciousness
Words drift in my mind
thoughts awry, consciousness fades
everything goes black
(iv) Serenades
Winds bring serenades
currents are for free fancies
somehow stealing hearts
(v) Voices
Whispers from afar
secret voices in my ears
can anyone hear
Published 13th Oct 2017
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Anonymous
13th Oct 2017 1:20am
I read utter isolation and longing in this one. We ache to be heard and understood but half the time we aren't even sure we understand ourselves. And trust falters when you're that alone. Keep writing. Keep reaching out. You might be surprised how many get it
13th Oct 2017 1:58am
These are the emotions that I have lived with so long that they come easily. It is much harder to write upbeat pieces. But don’t worry, I am not headed down the rabbit hole.
13th Oct 2017 2:38am
this is the second poem i read this month using this format; i like it. concise and direct. i like (i) and (v) the most, though (iv) feels like the weaker odd-one-out; the strength of this piece for me is in its matter-of-factness - how it talks about things that just are. but (iv) feels like a person beginning to pass judgment; that doesn't make it bad, only stand out from the rest
Thank you for your feedback, I looked at iv and reworked it completely. Got this format for Haikus from another who does them in batches of 5 or 7. Kind of a tribute to David_MacLeod. I am glad you liked them and thank you for visiting my works.
15th Oct 2017 5:50am
Kind of inspiring- that David eh? :)
Very striking formatting again; this style is affectionately infecting many here :D
Very striking formatting again; this style is affectionately infecting many here :D
14th Oct 2017 9:54pm
Thoughtful Sunwolfe...
Your stanzas reverberate through my being; ethereal scents shifting through me. Today, I hear your whispers.
Your stanzas reverberate through my being; ethereal scents shifting through me. Today, I hear your whispers.
15th Oct 2017 1:23am
The sounds we hear when we are all alone, sometimes only in our heads, can be some of the most profound. I am glad you enjoyed them.
14th Oct 2017 11:27pm
this is something special - whispers are usually whispers so only you can hear - when you hear screaming that nobody else hears then its time to put the gloves on :-) all stanzas inspiring :-)
Loved this :-)
Loved this :-)
15th Oct 2017 1:35am
They all came to me in just a matter of minutes. Was enjoying a little quiet time before a meeting and there they were. Luckily no one was screaming at me, lol. I am very honored that this made your reading list. Thank you.
