Beautiful Pain

I need you so much but I must keep away
I wish I could be here for you more often
Every time we're together it's beautiful pain
How it hurts to be in your sweet presence
I can't be with or without you all
It's a chain needed to break out of
It's a repel in the field of the star
Push me, pull me, squeeze me, hurt me
Blown away into the cold and darkness
No feel for company, only for sensory friends
I need what I can't deal with
Us in a room, the wall keeping us bound
It's wrong, I need the freedom
No matter how much I love you I must keep away
Despite your generous hands I am pulled off your mind
I always wanted what I can never have
However much I strive I cannot pass the thorns
The misty morning of the others
They are over the field concealed in fog
I can't reach out to you
When I try to I bleed
If only I was on the other side
My mind will keep me here in my own solitude
All I have is my own room to myself
No freedom for bonding, just the walls of the room