deepundergroundpoetry.com
The One
In him I saw the face of god
It struck me dumb and deaf
(once upon a time)
It was in the heat of summer
That chaos burst
From my breast
When I touched his lightning lips
I grew a pair of leather wings
He was quick to start the fire
(beneath them)
Published 11th Sep 2017
All writing remains the property of the author. Don't use it for any purpose without their permission.
likes 3
reading list entries 1
comments 4
reads 681
Commenting Preference:
The author encourages honest critique.
Anonymous
12th Sep 2017 00:58am
Nice
Anonymous
12th Sep 2017 9:51am
Hi, this is the first i've read from you....i'm a sucker for love poetry so when i read this I thought it had a really great sentiment and i love how you've presented it :)
Great Job!
Ben :)
Great Job!
Ben :)
13th Sep 2017 4:59pm
Was his name Neo? Lol...
Love the imagery in this!
Lightning lips, leather wings, summer heat and fire, chaos bursting from your breast... all very picturesque and expressive! Excellent ink!!!
JJ
Love the imagery in this!
Lightning lips, leather wings, summer heat and fire, chaos bursting from your breast... all very picturesque and expressive! Excellent ink!!!
JJ
14th Sep 2017 10:29am
It tapers off towards the end. perhaps a stronger ending, like a profound couplet or something like that. Other than that excellent ink. beautiful imagery.
