What This Eyes See

eyes of sorrow
that name a mirror deception;
how you aim your little pistol & pull the trigger...

Thank you so much for reading and your kind beautiful words, wish you a beautiful day :)

I have a hard time with my own body image. Theses days if you're not perfect you're not seen as beautiful. It's bs though. Beauty is truly more than image. Thankfully the good ones see this beauty.

Really enjoyed this poem. Very emotional 😁

Thank you so much for always reading my words and glad you enjoy reading them. Wish you a beautiful day :)

Dear RuNe,
My heart is aching for you as I know this image in myself.
Your thoughts and words touch my being and there is such vulnerability in what you wrote.

When I first started posting to this site I received a ton of feedback that I believe was helpful so I have a few suggestions (since you asked) but that is all they are…your writing is lovely.

Below I have just added spacing…no need for punctuation at the end of a line, in most cases the break is a natural pause (aside from ?) then spacing between lines for emphasis and modified a few tenses for consistency otherwise, all your wording. Give it a read and see what you think. Much love.

What These Eyes See

What your eyes see  
Always a mystery
I don't see the same
Beautiful girl in the mirror
You see when looking at me
Only an old face of a girl
Who used to dream

Voluptuous you say? I can't see them
Only the humps and bumps of my blabs  
Deep scars from my skin
To the depths of my soul
I only see
This empty shell of a body

Whatever your eyes see
They deceive you
The beautiful girl inside me
You see every time with me
Is only an old face of a girl
Who used to care

Beautiful you say
I can't see it in me
Only the coward
Who keeps committing a sin
Repeatedly swimming
In very sinful thoughts

What my eyes see

Is an empty shell of me

Thank you so much for making my words looks beautiful to read, even if the words are not meant to be beautiful, you made it look so. Thank you so much, this means so much to me. Wish you a beautiful day to smile and inspiring day :)

Not to be an ass or anything 😁 But I enjoyed how it was written. Many people have different styles. Those styles reflect the emotions. I felt the rewrite loses that emotion. Art is always a reflection. You  shouldn't feel pressured into changing your style unless that's something you truly want to do. Just my view is all 😁

I am touch by the gesture and it did looks more appealing to read, but you are right about that too. I ask an honest opinion and that is her opinion🙂 I respect and honor that. Thank you also for your share of knowledge, it is always good to have more input than nothing at all. I need room for improvement when it comes to my writing skills and style 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing. Enjoy your day and smile some more.

Your words only made this beautiful... much love

Thank you so much for reading and your generous kind words. Wish you a wonderful weekend to smile :)