Unquiet Mind

“This mind that doesn't stop,  
like a city without law and order,  
streets without signs, redlights nor traffic rules.  

If I would let you enter my mind,  
you would get lost before the first crossroad,  
like myself sometimes, I can't get out of the first crossroad and almost get rolled over by a car named “temptation”.  
 
A feeling that takes away the will to laugh and speak,  
that gives the will to cry out of nothing.  
Wanting to disappear, searching for a way out of this mind that doesn't stop,  
that does more than it should...  
thinkin' too much.  
 
That thinks stuff that already were and passed,  
things that could have happened diffrently,  
things that can happen if it chooses this or that.  
Thinks stuff that is not, things that it shouldn't think.  
From family, friends, love, past to world, nature, society...myself.  
 
Hard to describe through words everything that is goin' on in this head.  
'Till now it could be calmed down by stayin' alone, here and today it's the first time  
that it decides to write down what is going on and tryin' to calm down the mind by writing.  
It helps finding a little peace of mind.  
But what if the day comes where writing won't help anymore?  
 
But neither alone time nor writing helps finding out the “why” and reasons of this unquiet mind, confused mind.  
It needs to find out the reasons before writing and alone time won't help anymore.  
The only thing I know and feel diffrently now, I don't feel a hole anymore.  
I don't feel empty...anymore."
 
~Rafael dJdS