In And Of Its Self

I beckon you now my love..
Listen now to the sound of my imprisoned heart beating in your crying ears, and hear what it speaks in my absence from your side.
My mind is a mess honestly, but we are a mess in and of ourselves, and without you my train of thought wanders aimlessly, hopelessly with no thoughts of yours to finish my own.
I smiled at your laughter, it was more to me then the breath that staggers from my lungs.
I had words to say to you, They were many, they were truth, they were the heart that lays shipwrecked between our meeting and our end. It limbos in our journey replaying it, crying for you to turn back the page and rewrite this end.
I loved when love was lost on me and I watch you run to bed with countless, meaningless men,why?
Why when I gave you every ounce of me is there somewhere else you'd rather be?
Honestly my mind is a mess right now, I can't write to heal,  there is no help to come to save me from drowning in memories I'll forget only at dying breath when I can no longer feel.
I love you beyond my self, and you chew on my pieces steady and cunningly watching me bleed.
You bled me dry and soulless, but you were the vessel I chose to hold my wants.
I could complete the fucking splits in your lines, but you choose to run to someone else every god damn time!!
We could be, I could be....but your mind is a mess right now....you left my mind a mess... and we are just....
A mess in and of its self!